My Name, Whats the Point?

http://socialsanchez.wordpress.com/author/csanchezuk/

I never thought of names as being very important.  To me, they were simply a combination of words and sounds that I call someone to get their attention.  I never personally "analyzed" my name.  When given this assignment, I didn't quite get the point, so I started off by looking my name up on  a name analysis website. These were the main points for "Marian:"

1. You desire all the finer things in life--lovely clothes, home, furniture, and environment.
    
2. However, procrastination is your worst enemy, and you find yourself lacking the ambition to make your dreams a reality.
    
3. People are inclined to take advantage of your sympathetic, tractable nature.
    
4. You naturally attract people with problems who seek your understanding and advice.
    
5. You can give good advice although it is unlikely that you would follow it yourself.
   
   
6. It is difficult for you to be individual and make your own decisions, for you lack self-confidence.

I had this attitude that "these websites don't know me," and "there is no way my name can influence that much about me."  I was mistaken.

I am shocked at the extent that this website hit the nail on the head when it described me.  I always hated my name.  I was named after my great-grandmother whom I never met.  I mainly hated it for two reasons: one because everyone said it wrong so I had to correct them constantly and two because it doesn't roll off the tongue.  I didn't think of it as a "pretty name" that I enjoyed saying when I met new people.  With that being said, I realize now that that has influenced my personality greatly.

Not having a "pretty name" has always caused me to want "pretty things" to compensate for this.  And because I know what it is like to be so self-conscious of your own name, I am a very sympathetic person who is called upon by their friends often for advice.  Also, my friends will tease me that I give good advice, but I never will take it myself.  These unconscious things I do, that I thought was just a part of my personality, make me wonder if it was really a result of the name my parents gave me when I was born.

Being a part of Millbrook High Schools Varsity Womens Tennis team has provided me with many challenges in regards to the team aspect.  We have all heard the saying "There is no 'I' in team," but in tennis there kinda is.  I must perform to provide the team with points to win the match.  And when I step out on the court I am the only one who can help me, I am not a part of a team anymore.  If I am having a bad day no team member can come out and replace me.  If I am tired I cannot be given  a break and let another team member take my spot.  It is just me, my tennis racquet and the opponent.

Recently, in a match against Leesville, I was having a really bad day.  As some people say, I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn if I tried.  Because I lost on the singles court, the only way Millbrook could win was if all three doubles matches were won.  I was mentally down.  If I had won my match then I would not have put my team into this position.  I even thought to myself "I don't care, I can't play tennis today anyway, what does it matter?"  This was not the attitude of a winner.

When I stepped out on the doubles court with my partner, Marin Herold, I had a decision to make.  Was I going to act as an individual and allow my negative attitude to cost the team a victory, or was I going to put my selfishness aside and act as the team member I had to be.  I decided I really had no choice but to act as a team member because I could not bear to let my team mates down.  I persevered, with Marin by my side, through a long (3 hour) match of me fighting my individual desires to give up.  We ended up barely winning the match in a third set tie-break, synching a victory for the team.  I had always been playing for myself, any successes or failures were on me.  I realized after that match that I am the one who chooses to put the "I" in "Team." 

I connected this with the song by Lorde- Team.  Her lyrics explain the individual vs. team dynamic.  Below is an excerpt from her song and in parenthesis are my interpretations of the lyrics.

We live in cities you'll never see on screen (we work as a team, but others don't understand it )
Not very pretty, but we sure know how to run things (our team may not always be perfect, but we get things done)
Living in ruins of a palace within my dreams (we are a part of a team, but we all have our own dreams we want to achieve)
And you know, we're on each others team (we are always going to be part of a team and work together)

I'm kind of over getting told to throw my hands up in the air, so there (I am tired of being told I have no power or influence)
So all the cups got broke shards beneath our feet but it wasn't my fault (as a team we may not always succeed, but it is no individuals fault)
And everyone's competing for a love they won't receive (everyone is competing to be considered the best)
'Cause what this palace wants is release (because all we want is to reach our dreams)

As an individual, you want to be the best and have your dreams come true, but there are some things that can only be accomplished through team effort.  In the end, I have realized that individual wants and team goals requires a delicate balance in life.